Self-Worth Digest

A Millennial’s Guide To Self-Help


millennial-guide-to-self-help-self-worth-digest-sm01. Retail Therapy

Few things can satiate the throes of depression like splurging on material possessions that you don’t really need–but definitely want! If you’re lacking unfettered access to your parent’s bank account, look into getting a credit card of your own (they practically give these things away!) and MAX THAT SUCKER OUT!

Think of how exuberant you’ll feel while you blow thousands upon thousands of dollars that isn’t yours and you can’t afford! What medications and counseling can’t fix, certainly several pairs of designer shoes and an extra-large LED flat screen TV can!

02. Treat Yourself To The Latest Seasonal Coffee Drinks At Starbucks

Ah, Starbucks. The bastion of progressive hip-ness boiled down to a massive corporate coffee shop! Bring along your new Mac Book Pro that you bought during your retail therapy, and head on over to your local Starbucks to indulge in the latest specialty caffeinated craze!

Be it a Twix Frappuccino, a Pumpkin Spice Latte, or the quirky Unicorn Frappuccino, remind yourself how special you are by grabbing a beverage that perfectly exhibits your own unique and individual personality!

03. Take A Self-Care Day

If you’re employed, a student, or have any responsibilities what-so-ever, then you’re all too familiar with the pressures of being an adult. Those factors can weigh heavily on a person’s psyche, causing undue stress and feelings of helplessness. Concoct an elaborate story about catching Naegleria fowleri after your recent water tubing excursion. Dip out on your adulting for a few days so you can slip back into childish comforts, and a time in your life where you had not a care in the world! Curl up on the couch under a fleece blanket, grab a tub of ice cream, and watch some of your favorite Disney movies from yesteryear! Let the warm womb of nostalgia envelope you in its fanciful illusion, as you cry during the death of Mufasa for the 100th time!

04. Set Up A Tinder Date

One great method of stress relief is to engage in a little hanky panky with no obligations or emotional attachment on either person’s part. There are several sites that allow you to connect with others who are interested solely in knockin’ boots. Get yourself a date and have at it!

Just be sure to use protection! Or don’t. I can’t judge you based on your lifestyle because that would make me a bigoted kink-shamer!

05. Post Selfies To Social Media

For an instant ego boost, post some of your most adorable (and salacious) selfies on your favorite social media site! Once you hit publish, sit back and watch as the tides of flattery wash in!

Few experiences are more extraordinary than having countless internet strangers not only acknowledge your existence, but gratuitously compliment you in a 30 minute time span. It doesn’t matter how empty or fleeting these gestures are! Take a page out of the Kardashian’s book, show off your goods, and break the internet with photos that would make your parents blush!

Self-Worth Digest and it’s authors are not trained professionals in any field, and do not guarantee our guidance to be beneficial, or that any of the advice contained herein is cognitively sound. Click here to read our full disclaimer or follow this link for our list of legitimate mental health resources.

3 Responses to A Millennial’s Guide To Self-Help

  1. As a neurotypical millennial who knows plenty of these types I have to say this article is damn hilarious!

  2. 1001011010100101010110

    Ha u guys are funny.

  3. anyone else SICK TO DEATH of millennials?

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